


McDonald's + Drunkenness = Catastrophic Mess

by Whenshipssail



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, M/M, McDonald's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:37:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3830662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whenshipssail/pseuds/Whenshipssail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au</p>
            </blockquote>





	McDonald's + Drunkenness = Catastrophic Mess

**Author's Note:**

> I mean no disrespect to the actual men, this fanfiction is based purely on the actor's portrayal of the character. I hope you enjoy :)

“its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au

 

Ray had seen a lot of odd things in his time (the seventeen years he had existed) but this had to be one of the most entertaining. Ray leant against the counter and watched one of his totally wasted customers attempt to eat a burger. That may sound boring but when you're working the early morning shift at McDonalds and it's a choice between listening to your co-workers make out in the kitchen and watching an incredibly drunk, Aryan sex-god attempt to eat a burger, Ray knew which one he's prefer.

 

The man glared at his burger in frustration and made another attempt at taking a bite of his food, completely missing his mouth and smudging mayonnaise across his cheek. He didn't seem to notice and continued missing his mouth and dropping lettuce into his lap. Ray stifled a giggle and instead collected up some napkins and cutlery before he rather ungracefully clambered over the counter because fuck acting like a normal human being.

 

"Q-Tip," he yelled, as he made his way over to the man, "stop making out with your boyfriend and do your job."

 

Q-Tip shuffled out of the kitchen, giving Ray a sheepish smile on his way past before settling behind the counter.

 

Ray slid into the booth and grinned at the inebriated man across from him. Pulling the burger towards him, Ray set about cutting it into bite size pieces.

 

"Name's Ray," he said, as he glared at the lettuce stuck to the fork, "you?"

 

The man scowled at him before opening his mouth, then closing it again and eventually spitting out a couple of words, "Brad Colbert."

 

"Well Bradley," Ray said with a grin, "because I'm such an upstanding citizen I decided, out of the kindness of my heart, to help you."

 

"Don't need help," Brad slurred, making a grab for his burger.

 

"Sure you don't," Ray teased, yanking the burger out of Brad's reach, "you've been attempting to eat it for half an hour."

 

"How would you know?" Brad inquired.

 

"I was watching," Ray said.

 

"Didn't your mother teach you that it's rude to stare, you whiskey tango fuck?" Brad shot back.

 

"Aaaah, you're a marine," Ray said with a nod of his head.

 

A small smile crept over Brad's face, "You’re the first person to guess correctly, everyone says army."

 

"Well aren't they fucking stupid," Ray said with a smirk, "now eat your fucking burger."

 

Their banter continued until Brad had successfully eaten his burger without creating too much of a mess.

 

"I better be going," Brad said, pushing himself up from his seat, "I can feel a headache coming on."

 

Ray gave him a bright smile.

 

"Well if you ever in need of a carer again, here's my number," he said handing over a serviette with smudged numbers on it.

 

"Pfft," Brad scoffed, "like I need help. I'm a fucking Recon Marine."

 

***

 

Not a week later, Ray's phone chimed as he leant against the counter at 4am. Pulling the phone out he gazed at the foreign number before accepting the call.

 

"Hello?" Ray said, holding back the yawn that threated to escape his mouth.

 

"Ray," a familiar voice greeted, "you working an early morning shift?"

 

Ray grinned, "maybe," he said, "you need someone to take care of your drunk ass?"

 

"I'm not drunk," Brad replied indignantly, "I got up early for a run and now I'm hungry."

 

"So why call me?" Ray asked.

 

"Well I wasn't going to McDonalds unless I had something worth making the trip for," Brad replied.

 

"Oh Bradley," Ray said fluttering his eyelashes dramatically, "you really know the way to a man's heart."

 

"I wasn't talking about you Ray," Brad said, huffing a laugh, "I was calling to see what specials you had."

 

"You're an ass, Colbert," Ray huffed into the phone, "and you'll have to find out for yourself. See you in 10?"

 

"It's a date."

 

"No it's actually a time."

 

"Just shut up Ray."

 

"Love you too, asshole."


End file.
